when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
