you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
