This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
