white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
