Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
