So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
