Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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