That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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