Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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