why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
