i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
