who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize