dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just google imaged poop.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
