There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
