I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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