I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
