so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
