I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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