after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize