i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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