was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
