We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize