How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
