kristin has been a bad kristin
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
that's an acceptable place to lick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
