Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
