Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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