clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
