Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
