I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
