is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
