Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize