There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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