I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize