I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
