I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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