My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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