we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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