Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
