Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
