Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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