Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize