There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
