It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
