I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
