i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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