you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
