2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
