I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
