He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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