I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
