I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
