i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
