Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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