I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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