Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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