My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We got so high we made milksteak
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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