As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
