I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
