Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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