Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize