I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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