Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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