Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
