when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
