somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize