i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
