What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
