Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
