Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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