I want to make a zoo with you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
