do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
