oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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