My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
