girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
